Please Quickly Change The TV Channel - My Daughter Is Watching

I love my kids so much! They each have such unique personalities which continue to develop more and more everyday. My daughter is 7 yrs old and my son 6 yrs old.

I think it all started about a year ago. My daughter was watching tv and comes running into my room to get me. She’s yelling, “Dad, hurry up! Come here! Quick! You need to see this!” Of course, you leave your child in front of the tv for a few minutes alone with a remote, hear these words, and don’t know what to expect (I do not recommend doing this). Whatever it is, good or bad, it’s got her all amped up. I’m hoping it’s nothing I’m going to have to apologize for, since I’m the bozo who left her and my son in front of the tv alone.

As I turn the corner, while she’s jumping up and down, I see it; there in front of me; in plain view. I’ve ran across things like this before, and then very quickly changed the channel….but she’s watched virtually the whole ½ hour’s worth of it for sure, but it still on…..It’s an infomercial! An infomercial for kitchen knives! I’m relieved, but have no idea what I’m in for.

The guy is still doing the demos and my daughter is in awe. She quickly tells me to watch closely and that we need to get mom these for her birthday (which, incidentally, is months away). She watches in utter amazement as the guy uses a “normal” knife (like we have) to try to cut fresh bred. I don’t have the heart to point out to my daughter that he’s slamming the loaf down flat with his left hand as he pretends to cut it with the “normal” knife in his right hand. He then proceeds to cut sheet metal, steel, wood, a pop can, and a cutting board with knife, of course. Then he pulls out the bread once again, and cuts a perfect slice. She can’t believe it! The “oohs” and “aahhs” the tv studio audience bellows out only adds to my daughter’s amazement factor. I blast out some artificial “oohs” and “aahhs” myself and assure her we’ll think about some for mom sometime and casually walk away.

She knows what commercials are all about; we’ve talked about it and she gets it, and even comments about some of the techniques used on some commercials. She’s always been interested how and why things work and why they are what they are. It doesn’t slow her down though. Every time she sees the Lunesta commercial with the glowing butterfly, she’s convinced it would be the answer for any night she couldn’t get to sleep.

There’s a new one for a drug for treating RLS, Restless Leg Syndrome. Well, she’s had a growing pain or two in her cute, skinny little legs, and guess what she could use? It’s cute & makes me laugh….unless she ever starts asking questions about the Viagra commercials. ; >O

Well, very recently and about a year later, the four of us are walking through Sam’s Club and what comes on the intercom? “Hello Sam’s shoppers! We have a product demonstration at the end of isle 11. Anyone who attends will get a free gift!” Well….ok, my curiosity get the best of me and I wander over to isle 11 just as it’s about to start. Guess what the demo is of (and Don’t You DARE say Viagra)? You guessed it – Kitchen Knives!

I ran and got my daughter as fast I could! She was so excited. There it was in all of it’s glory! This guy, after cutting pop cans and wood blocks, actually cut a hammer and showed us the shavings before thinly slicing a tomato. He had hair like John Trivolta in “Greece” and had more jokes than Comedy Central. I’ll admit that some of them were pretty funny, and he had the routine down to a science. My daughter is in shameless amazement and also nearly wets her pants with every joke.

The full, set! Not $120. Not $100. Not $75. Not even $50. All for only $29.99. And, we get 3 extra knives and juicers! Could it get any better? Why…yes it could! If we give an extra knife to a friend, we get two more items!

Actually…as I watch….I start realizing…...that really is a lot of knives for $30. And…the thing did skin a tomato after cutting a hammer; I watched it. He’s right, my old knives don’t cut like they used to and these “Forever Sharp” brand knifes come with a lifetime replacement guarantee. They really could be the last knives I ever buy. The grapefruit juicer is stupid, but the purity of the grapefruit juice did look pretty good and it was quick to use. There was an extra primary knife and a couple of paring knives too. The fillet knife can slice so thin it’s crazy, and it’s guaranteed forever too.

Well, guess what kids and dad walked out of Sam’s Club with the biggest smiles that Saturday? Not the ones with the new dvds, televisions, volleyball sets, or even new bikes; even though we were all in a hurry to get home and try our new toys. The family with the biggest smiles that day was the family who walked out with the little white box, talking about what they were going to slice up for dinner.

-jeff